


Incomplete

by nightfallgoddess



Category: Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama, Ex-Boyfriends, First Time, Hurt, M/M, Major Original Character(s), Minor Character(s), Multi, Original Character(s), Reveals, Romance, Self-Hatred, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Substance Abuse, different POVs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-04-16 21:44:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4641222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightfallgoddess/pseuds/nightfallgoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summer is over and the new school year has begun. Miles can't help the lingering feelings he still has for Tristan. Can they put aside the pain from their breakup to fall in love again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm happy

Miles moved through the crowded hallway with his books in hand and a cup of steaming hot coffee from Starbucks in the other. It was the first day of Junior year and he was already late to his AP Chemistry class. How he managed to pass his Sophomore Chemistry class last year and with an A, surprisingly, was still a shock to him. Sophomore year at Degrassi had been a shit storm. His dad's campaign, the abuse, the weed, Maya, the fire, and Tristan.

During the summer, he and Tristan had walked circles around each other. Never being in the same area alone without someone else with them. It was still awkward. Tristan had kept a nice attitude and smiled during all the group things. He had even invited Miles and Zoe to a bonfire at the beach. Even though he had been with Zoe most of the tip, he couldn't stop his mind from wandering to Tristan. He had tried to get over him. He really had. He had lied to himself over and over again that this was for the best and Tristan deserved more than him. If there was one thing that Miles was good at. It was lying. He'd be lying to himself if he said he didn't still have feelings for Tristan. 

It didn't help the situation when he showed up to the trip with his arm around Zoe's waist. He had noticed the way that Tristan had looked at Miles's hand on her waist. The way that Tristan's jaw tightened and his mouth pinched. It had all went away in a flash. Tristan's face became blank of emotion and he had put on a fake smile and had leaned in to give Zoe a hug, staying far away from Miles. It had hurt. But Miles couldn't blame him.

The summer had become endless bonfires and early beach days. After a couple of days, it had seemed as if Zoe was getting tired of him. Miles would find her staring over his shoulder when he talked with her and she never really felt like making out anymore. It was when the last days of summer when Miles knew why. He had left to get a drink from the beach restaurant near the pier and when he had returned, he had seen her. Seen her kissing Grace. He should have felt angry in that moment. But he hadn't. He had known when he and Zoe had hooked up that it would never last. He had never meant for it to. And he guessed that, she had never meant for it to, either. They broke up on good terms. He and Zoe.They had continued to be friends after the summer, once in awhile going to the Dot for drinks. Zoe was happy with Grace. And it showed. She smiled more and seemed to be more comfortable in her own skin.

Every time he and Zoe met up, Miles would ask about Tristan. Zoe would get an understanding look on her face. She would tell him what he wanted to hear. That Tristan seemed happy and was working hard on the new school's drama production of "Spring Awakening". He would nod and change the subject. That was what he wanted to know. That Tristan was happy and doing what he loved. But, deep in his heart, Miles wished that Tristan was being happy, with him. That was all wishful thinking, nonetheless. Their relationship had ended like a half-written story. An incomplete sentence. Finished without an end. And maybe that was what it was meant to be. Incomplete.

***

Miles was walking through the Degrassi cafeteria when he ran into Tristan. Literally. Their trays collided against each other and the contents spilled on each of their shirts. Darn you, Spaghetti Tuesday.

"Shit. I'm so sorry, Tristan. I-"

"Uh. It's fine. I hated this shirt anyway. Gives me an excuse to go shopping," he joked, with a small laugh.

"Still...I'm sorry. I'll pay for the new shirt." Miles offered. 

"No." Tristan said forcefully. He continued a little more gently. "No. It's fine. Really."

Miles watched him for a minute. Something seemed off. Tristan looked tense."You aren't planing on wearing that shirt all day, are you?" The sauce from the spaghetti seemed to be seeping into the cotton of Tristan's shirt. Tristan looked down at the front of his shirt. He didn't answer him, confirming he was right. "I have an extra shirt in my locker that you can wear."

"Oh, no. Really, it's fine. I mean, what about you?" Tristan said, pointing at his shirt.

"It looks like most of the spaghetti sauce landed on your shirt. Plus, I have gym next period, so I can wear my gym shirt."

Tristan paused before answering. "If you're sure? I don't want to make it into a big deal or-"

Miles shook his head. "Tristan. It's totally fine. I promise. It's not a big deal at all."

He nodded. Miles quirked his head to the cafeteria exit door leading to the hallway. They both walked to Miles's locker down the hall. The sound of their footsteps filling the vacant space. This had been the most he and Tristan had talked since they had broken up. It almost felt like it did before. Except for the lingering awkward tension in the air. Tristan kept several feet away from Miles as they walked. They walked in silence.

When they reached his locker, he quickly worked his lock, fingers stumbling over his combination. He was nervous. After a second, his locker opened and he dug into it to find his spare Degrassi t-shirt. He could feel Tristan's eyes on him. But he didn't turn around. He wasn't sure what he would do if he did. He closed his locker and handed Tristan the shirt.

"Thanks." He said. 

Miles nodded. Words failing him. "So, I'll um...I'm just going to change in the bathroom." Tristan said, pointing to the boy's bathroom across the hallway.

"Yeah."

"Okay." Tristan backed away awkwardly and walked into the bathroom.

Miles let out the breathe that he hadn't known he was holding. He turned and rested his forehead on his locker, taking deep heavy breaths. His heart was pounding loudly in his ear. After a few slow seconds, Miles pulled away. He looked down at his blue v-neck he was wearing. There was a small stain of spaghetti in the center of the shirt. He could probably wash the stain away with soap. He was sure he wouldn't be able to completely remove the stain, but he could try to diminish it. He walked into the bathroom and opened the door. 

He sucked in a sharp breathe. Tristan's back was to him as he began to pull his stained shirt over his head. The pale skin of his back seemed to glow in the poor bathroom lighting. Miles watched the muscles in Tristan's back contort and shift as he pulled the shirt off. Had Tristan been working out? The abundant of freckles on Tristan's back were a dark contrast to his creamy white skin. He could feel his hand itching to touch them. Trace them. Memorize every single dot to memory. He continued to watch silently as Tristan leaned down to grab his t-shirt and pull if over his head onto his body.

Miles's feet moved on their own accord as he walked up to Tristan. Tristan picked up the stained shirt from the floor and turned around. By that time, he was only two feet away from Tristan. Tristan's eyes widened in surprise as he saw Miles in front of him.

"Miles? Wha-" Tristan began. He was cut off when Miles pressed his lips to his. He felt it in his toes. Miles felt like he had been wandering the desert without water for days and Tristan's lips was the water his body longed for,  yearned for.  

He felt Tristan's hands land on his shoulders. His heart fluttered. So he pushed closer into him, wanting nothing more than Tristan's touch. The spell was broken when Tristan's hands on his shoulders pushed him away.

They were both breathing heavily. Tristan was looking down at his feet, still keeping Miles at arms length.

"Wh...why did you do that?" Tristan asked him. His voice shook. Miles looked at him in confusion.

"I-I thought" Miles reached out to touch him. Tristan pushed him away again, this time hard enough that Miles took a couple steps back. Tristan was now looking at him. Giving him a death glare. His eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened. His hands fisted in rage at his side. Miles took another step back in surprise. 

"You thought what, exactly? You thought that I was going to melt in your arms? No, wait. Let me guess. You thought I was going to come crawling back for more, because I'm so desperate for someone to love me, right? Well guess what. Someone already does and his name is Matt," Tristan spat out, through clenched teeth.

His heart skipped. Matt? Miles had never heard of a Matt. Zoe had never even mentioned him when they hung out. As if Tristan had read his thought, he continued. "He doesn't go to Degrassi. He goes to a private school in the city. We met at the end of the summer when I got back from the trip."

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't know." He said.

Tristan stared at him for awhile. "I'm happy." He sighed. "For the first time in a long time. I'm with someone that likes me, and only me."

Miles winced. Tristan's words stung. Miles swallowed down a feeling of hurt.

"When you and Zoe paraded your relationship during the beach trip, I kept my distance. Not because I was jealous or angry. Because, I didn't feel anything. I felt nothing. I'm over you Miles. I've moved on." Tristan stopped. "And you should too."

"I'm sorry, Tris." He turned his face away. He was mad at the situation. Mad at himself for wanting something...someone. Someone he couldn't have. 

"I'm sorry, too." Tristan said quietly.

He walked past Miles and out the boy's bathroom in hurried steps. After the door closed shut. Silence filled the air. He laughed out loud. His voice echoing in the now empty bathroom. He laughed out of irony. He was in love Tristan. He was tantalizingly in love with Tristan. He has been lying to himself for weeks,  months. Using Tristan's own friend as a rebound, in a failed attempt to get over him. He had broken Tristan's heart and now he was expecting Tristan to take him back. Tristan would never want him now. Miles heard him. Tristan was _happy_. He was happy with someone else. He had never deserved Tristan...and he never will. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. The Dot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this Chapter
> 
> I Tried - Lucy Rose

The Dot was filled when he walked in. People at the counter getting their drinks, people walking to tables, and others leaving The Dot. Miles walked to a small two chaired table to wait out the long line. He and Zoe were meeting up to talk. He hadn't mentioned what happened between him and Tristan. He sat down in a chair. The line was beginning to diminish and Zoe walked in right on time. They both ordered their drinks and each a sandwich. 

"I saw you and Tristan talking to each other yesterday in the cafeteria."

Miles stopped drinking his blueberry smoothie. He put his drink down before answering."Yeah," his tone disgruntled as he picked up his drink again and began to sip it.

Zoe raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow. "And?" She urged him to continue. 

He shrugged and put his drink down again."And nothing, Zoe. Nothing happened, okay?"

"Bullshit," Zoe replied. She pushed her own smoothie to the side and folded her arms on top of the table. "Miles. I know you better than you think. And I know that you still have feelings for Tristan. I saw the way that you looked at him on the last night of the trip. During the bonfire, you couldn't keep your eyes off of him." 

Miles looked at Zoe with new eyes. She looked different, happier...in love. Her smiles came more easily and she always seemed to be laughing. Grace brought the best out of her. They were so different from the outside. Grace's alternative look and style against Zoe's high fashion girly couture. But, whenever he saw them at school, he noticed how well they complemented each other. The way they always seemed to gravitate towards each other in the mess of the Degrassi hallways. It was as if they couldn't bear the thought of being away from the other. He wandered if he would ever have that.

"Miles. Helloooo. Are you still there, little boy blue?" Zoe waved her hand in front of his face. Miles shook his head to clear his thoughts.

"Matt."

Zoe looked at him in confusion. "Who's Matt?"

Miles bit his lower lip. "Tristan's new boyfriend," he answered.

"What? Tristan didn't tell me. How long did he say they've been dating?" She asked.

Miles sighed. "He said that they met when we got back from the beach trip. That would mean that they've been dating for about three weeks now," Miles said quietly. 

"Wow. I can't believe Tris hasn't said anything to me. I mean, we talk to each other every single day and he's even in my Chemistry class, fourth period." Zoe grabbed a fry from Miles's plate.

"So what happened?" She dipped the fry in her small cup of ranch. She looked at Miles with her _I know you're not telling me something_ expression. 

Miles grimaced. "I kissed him. Uh...in the boy's bathroom next to my locker."

Zoe's eyes widened. She leaned in closer over the table. "Was this before or after he told you he had a boyfriend?"

"Before. I didn't know he was seeing someone. He was shirtle-"

"Hold up. What?" Zoe asked in a surprised whisper. So Miles narrated everything that happened the day before. How he had offered to let Tristan borrow his extra shirt in his locker. How he had walked in on Tristan mid changing, his back facing Miles. How his feet had moved on their own accord and how he had pinned Tristan to the wall and kissed him. Then he told her how Tristan didn't kiss him back and how he had pushed Miles away and yelled at him, spitting back words that Miles had said to Tristan a couple months ago.

"Damn." She leaned back on her chair, looking at Miles with sad eyes. "I'm sorry, Miles. That really sucks."

He paused. "That's what he said." Miles took a bite of his sandwich to avoid talking for the time being. They both ate in silence, watching the busy buzz of the small diner. The sound of the bell on the door, caught their attention. Miles's hand froze in mid bite of his sandwich. His stomach dropped.

He heard Zoe something, but he couldn't hear her over the pulse on his temple. Because there was Tristan walking into The Dot with his hand entwined with a taller boy, who looked a little older than them. The both of them watched as the other boy, most likely the Matt Tristan had been talking about, lean down and whisper something into Tristan's ear, making Tristan laugh. Miles's skin prickled with jealousy. He clenched his jaw. 

The couple ordered their drinks. Miles stared at Matt's hand on the curve of Tristan's lower back, the way that his thumb rubbed gently in circles. He wanted to pry loose that thumb with clinchers.

Tristan turned around as he grabbed his coffee from the barista, stopping dead in his tracks when his eyes landed on Miles sitting across from Zoe. Both their eyes on him.

Matt noticed Tristan tensed posture, and followed Tristan's eyes to the back table, where Miles and Zoe were sitting. His eyes seemed to harden as he stared at Miles, but it went away, as if like a flash. Matt's small frown turned into a handsome smile. He turned to Tristan and they exchanged a couple of words.

Next thing Miles knew, the two of them were making their way to their table. He turned to look at Zoe. She had the same expression on her face.  _Shit_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like this chapter! A lot of drama to come. Please leave comments!


	3. Do you love him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music for this chapter
> 
> "My All"- Mariah Carey

"Tristan, hey. How are you?" Zoe's face turned into a warm smile as Tristan and Matt stood in front of their table.

They were both wearing tweed jackets, due to the cool autumn weather outside. Zoe could definitely tell why Tristan was dating this guy. Matt was hot. Not, Zac Efron hot, but more like a Dylan O'Brien hot. He had dark brown hair, curled slightly, that almost looked black, but not as black as Tristan's newly dyed hair. His eyes were a mystifying mix of green and blue, small flecks of brown infused in them. He had high cheekbones, sharp enough to cut glass. A small stubble, that seemed to give his face a mysterious look, but also mad him look clean cut. Lastly, he was tall. Taller than both Tristan, and Miles. Zoe had to crank her head back a little to look at him.

"I'm good. I'm sorry I didn't text you back earlier, I had early morning play practice with Maya. We're working together on the music for the show." Tristan smiled excitedly.

Zoe waved her hand to brush off the apology. "It's no biggie. That's awesome. I'm still kind of bummed out that I couldn't find the chance to work on it this year. Cheer practice has been rigorous and we're still trying to build up what we lost over the whole situation last year."

Tristan nodded. "Well, I hope you can come see the show." He turned to Miles sitting quietly, his eyes hypnotized by his smoothie. "Both of you."

Miles looked up and their eyes met. If everything had been normal and grand, Miles would have pulled Tristan down to his level, and kissed him. But, that wasn't even close to the case. He couldn't stop his gaze from looking down at Tristan's hands wrapped around Matt's, thinking, that should be him. 

His eyes went back up to Tristan's."Maybe. I have a lot of things going on," He lied. He looked at Zoe, trying to convey that she go along with him. She nodded slightly and turned back to the couple.

Tristan laughed nervously. "Right. Of course." Miles grabbed a fry from his plate. "Well, if you find out you're not busy.I-The cast would love it if you came. Tickets go on sale at school in three weeks."

After that, silence blanketed the table. Matt still hadn't said a word. Zoe was quietly looking at Miles's reaction as he busied himself with his rest of his food.

"Wow, I'm so rude." Tristan turned to the boy next him and back to the two of them. "This is my boyfriend, Matt. He's a senior at Lincoln High Private." Matt smiled at Tristan's introduction. Ugh. Even his smile was perfect. A lazy uplift of his lips, gave his face an even more attractive expression.

A deep voice and nod came from the taller boy. "Hey." 

Zoe was the first to say something. "Hi. I'm Zoe. Nice to meet you. My cousin goes to you're high school. Do you know, Jack Rivas?"

Matt's face brightened, a mischievous smile appearing on his face. "Jack the ripper? He's you're cousin"

"Jack the ripper?" Zoe asked, her head tilted in confusion. 

"That's been his nickname since kindergarten. Jack would always let one rip during nap time and stink up the whole class. Our teacher would always have to open the windows. Later, she learned to just bring a box of fabreeze," he chuckled.

Zoe and Tristan laughed.

"Yeah, I know Jack. We have Calculus 102 together, this year. He's a cool dude. I'm not sure about his farts, though," Matt joked with a small wink.

They all seemed to turn to Miles at that moment. He wanted to get the hell out of there. He eyed the exit door. Miles felt a small kick to his shin from under the table. Zoe was giving him a stern look. He sighed. He turned to Matt. "Hi, I'm Mi-" He started.

The other boy interrupted him. "I know who you are. You're Mayor Hollingsworth's eldest son, right?"

Miles's skin prickled from the mention of his father. He put on a sugar sweet smile. "Unfortunately, yeah." 

Tristan and Zoe both laughed at his jab, while Matt looked at them in confusion. The rest of them knew what an asshole, Miles's dad was. He may be the Mayor of Toronto, but he was still the world's shittiest dad. Miles caught Tristan's eyes again. This time, Miles held his gaze. Without looking away, Miles asked, "So, how did you guys meet?"

Matt spoke up. "Tristan was doing an acting workshop at the Curtains Call studio, and we kind of clicked. A couple coffee dates later, we decided to make it official." He turned to Tristan and kissed him gently on the cheek. Miles felt himself tense. Zoe caught his eye, the quiet reassurance in her eyes calmed him, and he relaxed as Matt pulled back from Tristan's now, blushing cheek.

"Well, it looks like you guys are perfect for each other." He couldn't help the bitterness from his voice. Matt raised and eyebrow, but he quickly recovered.

"Maybe. But, all I know is that, Tristan is amazing, and I'm the luckiest guy." The other boy looked lovingly at Tristan, who was looking at his feet, his face now, bright red as the scarf around his neck. Miles wanted to puke. He needed to get out of there, now.

Miles reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet and left ten dollar tip on the table, covering for both he and Zoe. He lifted himself from his chair, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair. He stood up and put it on. 

"I have to go pick up my sister from her dance class. It was nice to meet you, Matt. Zoe, I'll talk to you later." Miles turned to Tristan. "It was good to see you."

Tristan nodded. "Yeah. It was good to see you too, Miles." Miles walked left The Cup, his steps felt as if they were lagging and slow, like he was taking a stroll on the moon. He entered his car. He took a few seconds to sit in it and let his breathing catch up to the acceleration of his heartbeat.

* * *

 

Tristan walked backstage to find some tape for feet markings. This was the last week of rehearsals before opening night, and it was mass chaos. He and Maya had been working together for the past month to perfect this musical. She was the student head of the pit orchestra.

Mrs. Jonas was the conductor, but Maya was the head student leader and she was doing an amazing job. In only the first three weeks, the student orchestra had accomplished an amazing feat of learning more than half of the music for the show. Now, all the instruments, brass and strings, knew all their parts, sounding great together.

"Winston! Where is the damn marking tape?!" Tristan hollered. He was bent down, looking through the set supply box, failing to find any sign of blue tape.

"I don't think we have anymore. You might have to go to the rec room upstairs," Winston replied.

Sighing, he got up from where he was crouched over and walked towards the back door. Before leaving, Tristan grabbed the rec room keys from the hook next to the door. He took the stairs two at a time. It only took him a couple of seconds to reach the rec room. A couple students still lingered in the hallways, from tutoring or student clubs. He waved to a couple of his classmates as they walked by. He reached the room and put the key in the hole. Nothing happened. The key was stuck and the door wasn't budging. 

He successfully pulled the key out and cursed it to work, and then pushed it back into the key hole. Again, nothing. He was getting frustrated and he really needed to get back to rehearsal. Leaving Winston in charge could only result in two things-chaos and more chaos. He closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose and out his mouth, once again, putting the key inside the key hole. Surprisingly, it didn't work. He kicked the door.

"What did that poor door ever do to you?"

Startled, he turned to see Miles standing behind him, leaning his back against a locker with laughter in his eyes. He was fairly dressed down for Miles. Wearing a hoodie and dark blue skinny jeans. His hair looked a little wet. He must have just gotten out of basketball practice. Tristan caught himself staring and turned away quickly.

"I need to get something in here for play practice. But, this stupid door won't fucking budge."

Miles pushed himself from the locker and situated himself next to him. His nose was filled with the smell of Miles's hair wash. A smell he hated to admit, he missed. It smelled like fresh pine. 

"Here. Let me help you."

Tristan hesitated for a second before, wiggling lose the key from the hole."Thanks." He handed him the key, their fingers brushed slightly. Tristan pulled away sharply and moved slightly away to give Miles room to have his try at the door. He watched as Miles twisted the key a little and pulled the door open wide.

"What?! How did you do that?"

Miles turned around with a smirk. "I guess, I'm just used to twisting round objects", he said with a double meaning. Tristan felt his face flush. Miles handed him the key.

"I-I...Thanks," Tristan stuttered. 

Miles expression was resigned, all the sense of smirk gone, as he nodded in reply. "No problem."

Tristan walked into the room and turned on the overhead light. His eyes searched the small closet space. No marking tape caught his eye. He scanned the top shelf and there it was. A box of marking tape on the highest shelf. Well, great, he thought. He looked down to see if there was some kind of stool or step ladder. Nope, none. Well, he might as well try his best to get it down. He jumped, reaching his arms as high as he could. 

He tried again, this time he accidentally grabbed another container, knocking it down with a loud crash. 

"Do you need some help?"

"Wha-Miles. Stop doing that!" His heart was beating loudly in his ear from the unexpected voice.

"Sorry. I walked away, and then I heard a loud crash. I came back to see if you were alright."

Tristan's heart skipped. "Oh, I-I...thanks. You didn't have to." 

"I know. I wanted to." Miles kept his gaze.

He swallowed. "Stop that," Tristan said.

"Stop what?" Miles asked.

"Stop saying things like that."

"Why? I didn't say anything bad. I just said that I came back to help you because I wanted to."

Tristan didn't say anything. Maybe, he was overreacting. Just because they weren't together, didn't mean that they couldn't still be friends...right?

"Tris," Miles said quietly. Tristan looked up. "Do you love him?" the words came out a whisper.

Tristan's eyes widened. He stared at Miles, his mouth dry. He swallowed again.

"I don't think that is any of your business, Miles." Tristan had to take a deep breath to make sure he would be heard over the pounding of his heart.

"I-"

"No." Tristan turned his head to the side, his eyes focused on a shelf of boxes of crayons. "No, I don't love him." He kept his gaze low, not looking up and meeting Miles's eyes."At least, not yet."

Silence from Miles's end, made him look back. Miles had dragged some kind of smile on to his face, his eyes dead."Right. How could you not love him? He's practically perfect and everything you've wanted." Miles turned away and walked down the hallway.

Not everything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked! Leave comments!!


	4. The Final Show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one. I hope you enjoyed. I borrowed some dialogue from the Mindy Project season two finale episode titled,"Danny and Mindy". 
> 
> Music: Jong Hyun- Diphylleia grayi

The cheers in the auditorium were thunderous as Miles and the rest of the audience rose to their feet after the last curtain call. The musical had been brilliant, even Miles had to agree with that, and he wasn't a musical fan. The acting was great, the lights, and especially the music, played with your emotions. He had found himself gripping his seat at intense parts of the musical.

His heart skipped several beats when Tristan and Maya were the last people to come out for the last bow. They walked on stage with bright smiles and flushed cheeks. Both wearing black, Maya in a simple black dress with her hair pinned up in a elegant bun, and Tristan in a black dress shirt and black skinny jeans. His black hair curled in front of his forehead and stuck to his forehead from sweat. As Maya and Tristan backed away from the closing curtain, Miles forced his way to end of the aisle, so he could beat the audience traffic.

Miles took hurried steps to the hallway that lead backstage. He nervously, ran his fingers through his hair as he approached the stage door. He could hear laughter and hollers from the other side of the door. He opened the door to find absolute chaos. The cast members were dancing and taking pictures, some were still in their stage makeup. Maya and Tristan were in a group, taking pictures with the props and hugging the cast. 

He awkwardly stood near the door with two bouquets of roses in his hand, one for Maya and the other for Tristan. A couple of the cast noticed him and he got several raised eyebrows and whispers, but he ignored them. The room calmed down and everyone seemed to be hit by the tired bug and began taking down hair and make up. Maya was the first to notice him. She untangled herself from Zig and walked over to him with a big smile. 

"Miles, hey! I'm glad you could make it."

She reached in for hug before he could say anything in reply. Things were still a little weird between them, but he was working to make this better. He really did like Maya, just not like that, anymore. He realized after the last school year, that he had no friends, besides Maya and Winston, but even Winston had dropped him. 

"I'm glad I did, Maya. The show was amazing." He handed one bouquet to her, nervously.

"Miles! These are beautiful, thank you. I can't take all the credit, of course. Tristan did most of the work." She turned to Tristan, who was talking to Grace, who had also came backstage to give congratulations. "Tristan!" she yelled.

Tristan looked up from his conversation and locked widened eyes, on him. He said something to Grace and walked over to where Miles was standing with Maya. He couldn't look away from Tristan as he made his way over.

"Hey," He said to Tristan when he appeared in front of them.

Tristan replied, "Hey." There was an uncomfortable silence that fell between the three of them. Flashes of the last school year made him regret coming back here. Maya looked between the two of them.

"So...this can't get any more awkward," she said, with a small laugh. "Zig is giving me the stink eye. So, I should probably go keep him company. Thanks again for the roses, Miles. That was really thoughtful of you. I'm glad you liked the show." She turned to Tristan. "I'll talk to you later, okay," she said with a pointed look. Tristan nodded slightly. She made her way to her boyfriend.

They really did make a nice couple. An opposites attract relationship. Zig gave him a small head nod and when Maya reached him, he twirled her, making her laugh, and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. Miles looked away, uncomfortable. He looked at the single bouquet of roses in his hand, almost forgetting why he still had them. He turned his head to Tristan, who had also watched the Zigmund interaction. 

"Congratulations, Tristan." He handed the other boy the bouquet, with a shy smile. Miles watched as Tristan looked between the bouquets in his hand and Miles's face, a look of bewilderment on his face. Tristan opened his mouth and then closed it, unsure on what to say. 

"Thank you."

Miles shook his head. "No problem. The show was amazing. I'm really glad I managed to make the last showing."

"I-I thank you. We worked really hard these past couple of months." Tristan looked down at the roses and played with the petals.

"It showed."

Once again, there was a deafening silence. Tristan was the first to break it, to Miles's surprise. "Wo-would you like to come to the cast party tonight? We're all meeting at my house to hang out and stuff. You're welcome to join." Tristan's eyes bore into Miles's, with a certain look that he couldn't quite read.

Miles let go of the breath that he hand't realized he was holding. "I-yes. I think I can make it."

Tristan smiled. "Okay. I guess, I'll see you later then. Thanks again for the flowers." He raised the bouquet in his hand. "They're beautiful," he said as he walked away backwards.

"You're welcome. I'll see you." He lowered his head, hiding the smile beginning to form on his lips. There was something different between them, that hadn't been there before. Before, whenever they interacted, it had been tense and uncomfortable. But, just now, it felt like Paris all over again. He couldn't stop his growing smile as he turned and made his way out of the school, to his car.

***

 

Miles texted his mother that he would be home a little late, letting her know that he was hanging with a couple of people, dropping Maya's name. His mother liked Maya, once in awhile asking him how she was doing. He knew that, she secretly wanted them back together, but he told her that she was already dating someone, she dropped mentioning her name.

He got a quick 'okay. Be safe', text and he put his phone in his jacket pocket as he got into his car. He started the car and backed out of the packed parking lot. The car line to leave Degrassi High was long. He put his car in parked as he waited it out. Once cars started to move, he continued and made his way to the intersection. He decided on taking the back way to Tristan's house, since everyone seemed to be going the way that he usually went. In little over 10 minutes, he turned into Tristan's neighborhood, the sound of music and cheering, was heard as he approached Tristan's house. 

The amount of cars parked in front of Tristan's house, was absurd. It took Miles, several minutes to find a place to park. He had to park a couple of houses down. He got out of the car and walked across the street, nearly missed between hit by a car, that hadn't seen Miles. He gave a nasty look at the driver, although the person wouldn't have seen, since it was dark out.

The music got louder as he neared the house. Miles was surprised that no one hadn't already called the police. The bass was so loud, that he could feel in his feet. He put his hands in his coat pocket as he walked up the drive way. Tristan's garage was open, allowing easy entrance to the party. Miles entered the house and was greeted by the full swing of the dubstep music and loud voices. The house was filled with what seemed like, the whole junior class. People where everywhere. Tristan's living room had been converted into a dance floor, there was a disco ball hanging from the ceiling, catching the light in the house, and turning the space into an actual club. 

He made his way through the throngs of people dancing in the kitchen. He recognize several people from the musical. He stopped once in a while and made small conversation with several of them. Congratulating them on a great performance. Many of them seemed surprised that he was even talking to them, several just nodded and replied with thanks, and then moved on.

He surveyed the sea of people, hoping to catch a glimpse of Tristan. But he couldn't find him anywhere. After all, he was only reason Miles even bothered to come. He found himself in Tristan's backyard, overlooking a small pond. That hadn't been there before, Miles thought to himself.The patio was lit with twinkle lights and tiki torches, the fall weather, making the heat, much needed. It was less packed than the house. He made his way to the edge of the pond, watching the moon's reflection in the water.

"Hey." A voice behind him startled him, as he seemed to jump a thousand feet. He turned around to see, Tristan with two cans of sodas in his hand, with laughter in his eyes.

"Looks like I'm the one doing the scaring for once," Tristan said with a small smile. He handed one of the sodas to Miles. "Soda?" he asked. 

He nodded and took the soda. "Thanks." He opened the can and took a small sip, his eyes on Tristan's. Tristan looked away, his eyes focused behind Miles, at the pond.

"My parents have always wanted to have pond. While I was away for the summer trip, my mom had hired a contractor. I came back to divorced parents and a pond in my backyard." Tristan opened his own soda and took a long sip.

"I'm sorry."

Miles knew what Tristan was going through, except, he wanted his parents to get divorced. His father was a grade-A douche bag and a horrible father. He was manipulative and abusive, and when his father called a 'family' meeting announcing that Miles's mom and he were getting a divorce, he had smiled. Frankie had rolled her eyes and muttered, 'It's about time'. 

"What's it like?" Tristan asked, his eyes back on Miles.

Miles head tilted his head in puzzlement."What?"

"What's it like having only one parent?" Tristan clarified.

He sighed. "I don't know. It really doesn't feel any different from when I had two parents. I guess it's because, my dad was never really a parent to me. My mom and I had always been close." Miles shrugged, taking sip. "I'm glad my dad's gone. Our family is a lot closer than we have ever been before.

Frankie, Hunter, and my mom and I moved out of the manor, and we live in smaller house. It's still big, but it seems more accommodating to the size of our new family arrangement." Miles smiled. "Frankie hates it. She complains that she doesn't have enough rooms between Hunter and I."

Tristan laughs. "She's slowly warming to the new house. My mom got her a new car for her birthday, and she hasn't complained for a week, so that's a new record." He shook his head, fondly.

"I'm glad things are working out," Tristan said earnestly. 

Miles worried at his bottom lip. "Things are going to work out fine for you too. You always make the best out of crappy of situations."

"Yeah, maybe." Tristan zipped up his hoodie with the other hand not holding the soda.

"So, how is Matt?" Miles asked, surprising himself.

"I'm not sure, we haven't talked in a couple of days," Tristan muttered, shaking his head.

"Oh-"

"We broke up."

He turned his head sharply. "I'm sorr-", he began.

"No you're not." Tristan looked at him with a frown. "I saw the way you looked at him last week, at The Dot, Miles. You don't like him." 

Miles shook his head. and pulled his head back to finish the rest of his soda. "Yeah, you're right. I didn't like him." Tristan laughed bitterly, turning his head. "I didn't like him because, he had you," he said quietly.

"He broke up with me because he thought that I still had feelings for you."

"Do you?" he asked.

"Don't."

"I love you, Tris" 

"Miles, don't."

Miles dropped his soda can on the leaves covered ground and grabbed Tristan's hands, reminiscent of when he grabbed it the morning after the storm, when they first kissed.

"Tris," He said quietly. Tristan eyes were diverted to their hands together.

"Look at me, I want to be with you. I love you. Tris, I love you. Please, look at me."

Tristan shook his head furiously. "Please, _Tris_."

Finally, bright blue eyes met his. "I don't believe you," Tristan said with bark of laughter."Where was you're love four months ago? Did you love me when you humiliated me in front of your siblings and your best friend? Did you love me when you ogled Maya right in front of me, when you swore that you liked _me_? Did you love me when you were all over Zoe during the summer trip? I don't get you, Miles. I was by your side through everything...everything. You used me. You fucking made me feel like a used rag doll. And now you want to give me this bullshit about love? The last time I believed that someone loved me, he was being fired by his job for using an underage student." Tristan had pulled his hands away and was breathing heavily.

"Tristan."

"You love me until you don't, okay. I'm not going to do that anymore. I won't. I want something real, Miles."

Miles's words spilled out in jumbles. "I'm real, Tris. This is real. It's real. I swear." Miles ran a tired hand through his hair. "I know what I did was wrong. I know. I-I'm...God, Tristan, you don't understand how sorry I am. But, I can't not want you, Tris. I need to have you in my life. I'm such an idiot for doing that to you, it was the worst possible thing I could have done to you." Tristan's eyes searched his face.

"I can't lose you. Not again. Not forever," Miles said quietly, his voice breaking. "I-I just- I can't...I can't lose you again."

He falls silent and waits for Tristan to say something, _anything_ , waits for him to turn around and walk away, slap him, scream at him or do _something_. Instead, Tristan just stares at him with an unreadable expression on his face, lips slightly parted. The sound of the music coming from inside the house, felt louder than ever, but all he could hear was the beating of his own heart in his chest.

Tristan finally replies, quietly. "What about Maya?" 

"You're not her, and you'll never be her. Because, I love you for you."

He didn't expect Tristan to kiss him. 

Tristan took several steps and tilted his head up, crashing his lips against his. At first, Miles was too shocked to do anything with his hand. But after a couple of seconds, He reached his hands and grabbed on to Tristan's hips, pulling him closer. Their breathes filled the cold air as they inhaled deep breaths the second the second their lips met again. It was like they couldn't get enough of each other. Tristan pulled away.

"Don't make me regret this," Tristan said, his eyes boring into him.

Miles gently shakes his head.

"I won't." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and let me know how I'm doing and if you like how the story is going.


	5. The Kiss

On Saturday morning, Tristan opened his eyes and checked his phone. 10:30. He had about thirty minutes to get his butt out of bed and get ready for his date. Yes, date. After that night of the cast party, he and Miles decided to try again. Try again to be together, without hang ups and confusions, just them getting to know each other better and see if they can be what they were before.

Miles had suggested brunch and a tour of the art museum, in the city. Tristan smiled fondly as he remembered how nervous Miles was before asking him on the date. Miles had stumbled over his words, unsure of Tristan's reaction. His cheeks had been rosy with a blush that spread all the way to his neck. Tristan had wanted to laugh, but he had swallowed it and waited patiently for Miles to ask him. 

* * *

 

The doorbell rang loudly in his empty house. Ever since his parents divorced, his mother had joined several morning yoga classes to get out the house. Tristan barely saw her during the week, and it made him worried. Why weren't things going back to normal? Why did it feel like, his dad wasn't the only person his mother was trying to separate from? 

Tristan shook his head and grabbed his coat from the closet and left a note for his mother. He opened the door to Miles, who was dressed in a black coat with a warm looking scarf around his neck. It was the beginning of December, and it seemed like winter was in full blast. Tristan smiled and closed the door behind him, before walking down his porch steps with Miles ahead of him.

The ride to the diner was a little awkward at first. After all this was the first time that he and Miles had been alone together in a while. Tristan rubbed his hands together to warm them up.

"Are you cold?", Miles asked, turning his head slightly.

Tristan clutched his hands to preserve the heat that he had just created. "Yeah, just a bit."

Miles turned on the heater in the car, including the seat warmers. The perks of having a very nice car. Tristan could instantly feel his face and body warm as the convertible was filled with warm air. He let out a small sigh.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to turn you into Jack Frost.", Miles muttered. He turned the car into the next lane to get on the highway, speeding the car.

Tristan let out a small laugh, "It's fine. I never prepare for the weather, as you can see." Miles pointed out his light jacket.

"We can stop at a clothing store and get you a bigger jacket, if you want."

"No, it's fine. Let's eat first. I'm sure I'll be fine once we get to the art museum." Miles nodded and they continued the drive, in silence.

* * *

 

"I'll have scrambled eggs and pancakes with a side of strawberries, please." Tristan handed his menu to the waiter. He and Miles were sitting in a small corner of Toronto's famous breakfast diner, Maple's. He and his parents used to come here once a month on Saturday mornings. It was one of his favorite diners. Tristan took a sip of his coffee.

Miles was sitting across from him, his head down in his menu, looking through the assortments of breakfast food. Tristan stared at the way the morning sun made Miles's dark brown hair, glisten. His eyelashes were full and long, eyebrows drawn slightly in concentration.

"You find anything you like?"

Miles looked up, sheepishly. "Uh..no. Everything looks so good, and I can't seem to decide what I want. Sorry." He set his menu down.

"Don't be. I remember when I first came here, it took my about fifteen minutes to decide. Why don't I order for you? I know this menu inside and out."

"Sure."

So, he ordered Miles, the _sweet deluxe_ , which consisted of, batter bites, fluffy scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, and a side of biscuits. It was not too long until their table was filled with the aroma of food. They both dug into their dishes as soon as they could get their hands on their silverware. Tristan asked for more coffee, and Miles, more milk. The brunch was nice. They talked a lot about school and friends, and tried to avoid their break up as much as possible.

After twenty minutes, they were both rubbing their stomachs full of food. They flagged the waiter for their check. Miles paid for the breakfast, although he offered to pay for half. Instead, Tristan left a tip, before they gathered the jackets and headed out the door.

The ride to the art museum didn't take too long. The sun had come up and the cold air was less biting. The museum was almost empty when they walked in. The building was lit with natural light coming from the dome like ceiling. Miles grabbed two maps and handed one to him.

The two of them made their way through the museum, stopping frequently to read about each piece of painting. Miles stayed close to him as they looked up at a beautiful painting of a man and a woman embracing. Their faces were blackend out, and the only thing that showed color were their hands wrapped around each other's backs. It was so simple, yet so breathtaking. 

"It's amazing, isn't it?", Miles said.

Tristan breathed out, "Yes, it really is." They moved up to the next level of the museum, the sculpture section. The room was all marble, marble walls, marble floor, and marble sculptures. He felt as if he were marble himself.

A few people were sprinkled around the room taking pictures and selfies of the sculptures. Tristan felt a gently hand on his back, and he couldn't help himself from leaning back into it, slightly. Miles was closer to him, now. He could smell the slight pine smell that Miles always smelled of.

They walked slowly through the sculpture gallery, awing at how intricate and amazing the sculptures were. The last one they stopped at, was a large sculpture of a man and a woman interlocked in a passionate kiss. The name of the sculpture was, The Kiss by Auguste Rodin, a famous French sculptor.

The man in the sculpture is sitting down on a rock or table. The woman is sitting next to him, wrapped in his arms, as she leans up to meet his kiss. His hand is place high on her hip. They are both naked, making this sculpture even more intimate and sensual. It almost felt like he and Miles were intruding in a private moment between lovers.

"They look so enraptured in each other." He sighed, Tristan turned his head to look at Miles. The other boy nodded. Their eyes met. Miles turned to face him. Tristan noticed that most of the people that were in the room when they first came in, had left, and that he and Miles were the only people remaining. The room was peacefully quiet, the distant sound of quiet mummers the floor below them, filled the air.

The sunlight filtered through the room, giving the atmosphere around them a heavenly glow. His breath caught in his throat as Miles cupped his flushed cheeks. His fingers tracing Tristan's cheekbones, ever so gently. His eyes fluttered closed as Miles pushed back a lock of his hair from his forehead. Tristan opened his eyes slowly as Miles leaned in to kiss him. Their lips met softly. 

Tirstan's hands came up to Miles's shoulders, clutching his jacket almost desperately. He could feel Miles's hands slip down to the dip of his back, pulling him closer. He shivered slightly from goosebumps, when Miles's nibbled on his bottom lip, lapping over it apologetically. Tristan's arms moved up to wrap around Miles's neck, his fingers running through soft locks. 

Miles's lips reached his jaw, tracing the lines of his ear to his collarbone. They were so warm and soft, leaving a trail of angel kisses on his neck. He moaned when Miles nipped at his neck. By now, Tristan could feel his whole body burning up, making the jacket he was wearing very uncomfortable. He could also feel how this moment was making Miles feel, from the large bulge in his pants.

They heard a giggle and a gasp behind them. "Mommy, look their kissing like the sculpture." He and Miles turned to see a couple with a small child at the entrance of the room. Tristan pulled a way quickly, heat rushing to his already warm cheeks. He turned to see Miles also blushing, his ears pinched in pink.

The little girl continued to giggle, as her mother scolded her. The father, raised a quizzical brow and it almost seemed like he had a small smirk on his face. The mother ushered the little girl to the first marble sculpture, the father also joined them. 

"Oh my god. I can't believe that just happened. I think we just scarred that little girl, for life.", He whispered to Miles.

"Possibly, but she's gotta learn one day or another." Miles said. Tristan turned to him with a raised brow, "Miles."

"Well, it's true!" Tristan shook his head with amusement. "I guess that kiss was something else, huh?", Miles said with a sly smile.

Tristan bit his lip from laughing and walked away towards the exit stairs. He felt a warm hand capture his own. The two of them made their ways down the stairs and out the museum.

Yes, it was something else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this chapter!  
> Music: A Game of Badminton-Jack Liebeck, Benjamin Wallfisch from the Jane Eyre Original Motion Picture Soundtrack  
> The Living Sculptures of Pemberley- Dario Marianelli from the Pride and Prejudice Original Motion Picture Soundtrack


	6. Don't do this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one! Enjoy.

Miles felt lighter than he has in months.  Being with Tristan was the best thing to ever happen to him. They had been dating for almost a month now, it seemed just like only yesterday he had kissed Tristan at the cast party. 

He wanted nothing more than to lift Tristan and spin him around like a Disney princess and show him how in love he was with him. But he doesn't. 

A lot has happened to him in the past year. From the drugs,  to his father's brute force and manipulation, to his overbearing mistake of pushing people away. Yeah,  he has gone to countless sessions of therapy his mother had dragged him to. No matter how many he went to,  he still felt the crushing feeling of self hate and depression. And today,  he was feeling the full capacity.

"So I was wandering. I mean,  since we've been dating for awhile now, do you wanna spend the night at my house this weekend?"

Miles was finding it hard to focus on a single word that his boyfriend was saying. He found himself staring at the delicate movements of Tristan's mouth moving as he talked to him. 

"Earth to Miles! " Tristan said. 

He was jostled out his inner monologue. "Sorry. What were you saying? "

Tristan gave him a perplexed look,  with one eyebrow raised. "My mom is going to one of her ridiculous cleansing retreats with her yoga group this weekend.  I asked if you wanted to spend the weekend with me."

Miles rubbed his eyes with his hands. "Yeah,  sure.  Sounds good. "

He felt a warm hand cover his. "Miles. Are you okay? You've been really off today."

He dragged his hands away from his face. "Yeah,  I'm fine. "

"Are you su-"

"Fucking Christ, Tris. I said I'm fine," Miles said through gritted teeth."

Tristan flinched back as if he'd just been slapped. His eyes roamed Miles's face as he watched the other boy shrink into himself,  avoiding eye contact.

"Okay," he said quietly. "I have to go. I'm meeting up with Grace for a project." 

Tristan got up from the table they were both seated at in a small corner of Starbucks. "I-I'll talk to you later? "

Miles looked up at him with vacant eyes, but also got up and kissed him on the cheek. "Yes. I'm sorry I was snappy. I'm just crabby and irritated. Why don't I pick you up tonight and we can go see a movie. I heard the new Star Wars movie is pretty good and you've mentioned you've been wanting to see it," Miles suggested. 

Tristan let out a small breath he hadn't realized he was taking hostage in his chest. This sounded more like the Miles he knew. 

"I'd like that. And if I stand corrected,  you're the one who has been babbling on about wanting to go see The Force Awakens, not me," Tristan teased with a smirk.

Miles blushed and ducked down to kiss him on the lips. "You know me too well, Tris."

"Unfortunately," he said deadpan. 

Miles playfully gasped with false hurt. "How you wound me so. "

Tristan giggled. "I highly doubt it. Your heart is cold as ice,  Elsa."

Miles shook his head, still following his act."I'm more of an Anna, babe. Don't you think? "

Tristan cocked his head to the side and put a finger to his mouth, in concentration. He hummed quietly. "Nope. Definitely, Elsa."

Miles latched himself to Tristan and found himself nose deep in the clean scent of Tristan's neck and gave it a small bite. He heard the other boy yelp. He grinned to himself as he could feel Tristan's body respond. Before he could go any further, Tristan pulled away. 

"Miles.  I really need to go. I'm five minutes late from my study date. I can already feel Grace's death glare. Hey,  and don't you have a family dinner or something to go to? " Tristan asked.

"Don't remind me," he muttered. His good mood, already dissipating with the introduction of the distasteful topic. 

Tristan raised his hand to Miles's cheek. His fingers rubbing lightly on the other boy's cheek bone. "Hey,  it's just one dinner, Miles. I know your dad is a class a douche bag, even I can't try to find any good in him."

Miles let out a small huff. "I still don't understand why you're mom wants this dinner. I know he hid it well,  but even she can't be blinded by the fact that he was aggressive and manipulative."

"She wouldn't be the first person he has fooled," Miles said. "Trust me,  my dad is good at what he's best at doing."

Tristan smiled sadly and gave him a small peck on the mouth. "Well, he's not going to do any more of that. I need to go. Call me after the dinner and tell me how it goes. We can go see Star Wars another time. If I don't hear anything from you, I'm assuming you killed everyone at the dinner table," he joked.

Miles expression remained cloudy. Tristan waited for a reply. When he didn't get one, he grabbed onto Miles's chin and forced his attention to him. Then he said softly, "Miles, it's going to be alright. He's never going to hurt you again. Okay? "

Miles nodded. "I love you. I'll talk to you later," Tristan said. Miles smiled, however it didn't reach his eyes. 

Tristan had expected the lack of reply to the 'I love you'. For the past two days,  he had realized that Miles wasn't saying it back,  and it worried him. Had he done or said something wrong? He knew Miles loved him, he had said it several time before. Or maybe Miles didn't want him anymore? 

He shook his head to push away those thoughts. He wasn't going to do that anymore. He wasn't going to have doubts on being loved. He finally had him, he finally had Miles. He wasn't going to jeopardize their relationship based off his low self esteem.

Tristan walked out of the coffee shop with his hands deep into his coat pocket. Toronto was having a unforgiving winter. It was only a week from Christmas and he sure that the cold would get worse. He sent a quick text to Grace letting her know that,  no,  he didn't ditch her and that he was in his way. 

* * *

 

"Miles! Dinner is ready,  get your butt down here. Get your sister, too. Shes been trying on dresses for the past hour," he heard his mom yell from downstairs. 

He finished up the shirt buttons of his dress shirt. His mother had wrestled him to dress nice for this so called "family dinner". He had rolled his eyes and gone to his closet to find his ugliest dress shirt, in spite. 

Fifteen minutes later,  he and his siblings, with his mom and dad,  were sitting down at the table. His dad had arrived ceremonially late,  as was to be expected. His mother had opened the door and he watched as his father kissed on the cheek like he had done when they were married. He had looked away. 

His father hugged Frankie and kissed her on the too of her head, even though it has clear to see that Frankie was the least receptive to the touch. Hunter's eyes had found his as they watched the interaction. His father didn't say much to him,  but a dismissive nod. Frankie had always been his favorite.

"Miles, can you pass the salad to your father."

Miles continued to eat his pasta as if he hadn't heard his mother. "He has arms,  he can get it himself," he said before taking a bit of his food 

"Miles!" Mrs. Hollingsworth hissed.

"That's okay,  Emma. It's nice to see that my son is as disrespectful as always," Mr. Hollingsworth said with disgust.

Miles gripped his fork tightly,  until he could see this fingers turn white. His teeth grinded. "You don't get to call me that. I'm not your son and you were never a father." He rose from his chair. "I'm not hungry anymore." 

His mother sighed from across the table. "Miles, sit down please. There is something your father and I want to announce to all of you. You know your father and I have been going to couples counseling after the divorce. It's been going well,  actually, really well. So well that we've decided to get back together."

Miles could feel the blood drain from his face. His legs felt numbed and he was finding it hard to swallow. His siblings were equally shocked and confused. Frankie was the first to verbally react. 

"What the hell, mom?! " she pushed her chair back, away from the table. 

"Frankie Anne! You will not use that type of language with me."

Frankie closed her mouth in a thin line. "Your father and I have talked about this for a while now. We think it's time to become a family again." She grabbed their father's hand and he kissed her palm. Miles looked away in revulsion.

"Your father will be living with us, starring next week. This way,  we can spend Christmas together, as a family."

Miles couldn't take this anymore. He got up from his seat for the second time that night and grabbed his keys and jacket and headed out of the door,  ignoring his mother's protests. He needed to feel nothing. He needed to feel numb and the only thing that could give him that,  was something he hasn't needed in a long time. 

* * *

 

Tristan checked his phone for the third time since he got back from his study date with Grace. She had been angry with him as he walked into The Dot. But, she quickly forgave him as he had handed her a red velvet cupcake, her favorite, that he picked up from the local creamery.

They both had done their respective parts days before, so it didn't take long to assemble the finishing parts of their project. After an hour,  they had successfully finished their poster board and research paper. Afterwards,  they had grabbed dinner at the burger joint across the street and talked a bit. Tristan had asked her how things with Zoe were going and if Grace knew what she was going to do for Zoe's 17th birthday coming up. 

Grace had blushed, to his surprise, and muttered some things about making dinner for Zoe and some after dinner activities. He had winked at her suggestively, before she has smacked him on the arm,  eliciting an "ow!" from him. They talked a it more about school and college searches, and without realizing they had talked until the closing of the restaurant. He headed home quickly after,  checking his phone for any calls or messages from Miles. There had been none. 

Now he was sitting in his room trying to start his French homework, but failing to do so, because he hadn't heard from Miles. After another hour of waiting,  he finally gave in and picked up his phone and called his boyfriend. 

The phone rang for awhile and before he decided to hang up and try again,  a sluggish voice answered. 

"Hello?," Miles answered.

"Miles?"

"Oh hey,  babe! I miss you so much. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!  Do you know how much I love you?  I love you more than a monkey loves bananas," Miles babbled through the phone. 

"Miles. What's wrong?  You don't sound like yourself?, " Tristan asked. He hadn't heard Miles talk like this for a long time. Not since he used to get hi-.

"Miles, are you high? "

"What?!  Why would you think that,  baby? I'm just being me. Why? Can't I say how much I love you?! " Miles replied, the volume in his voice increasing. 

"Where are you,  Miles?" He asked sternly. 

"I'm in Arendelle, darling!"

"I'm serious, Miles. Where are you?  Are you with anyone?  Tell me where you are so I can come pick you up." Tristan grabbed his keys from his desk and headed out his house with his jacket hallway on. 

"I'm at the 24th!You should come too, Tristan! Come have fun with me! " Miles said,  then hanged up the phone. 

Tristan put the name in his Google Maps and found that it was a hookah bar in the city,  ten minutes away. Tristan backed out his driveway and headed to the city.

Google Maps led him to one of busiest strips he had ever seen. People crowded the streets,  most of them were drunk or high,  from what he could tell. Loud clubbing music filled the area,  and the smell of smoke filtered it. He found the bar that Miles had said he was at. 

The bar was 18 and over,  but there was no security to tell people who were younger, to turn away. Tristan walked right in. The smell of hookahs and pot infiltrated his nose as he made his way through the bar. He covered his nose in disdain. His eyes roamed the bar to find Miles.

He found Miles in a corner with plush seating,  smoking and kissing another person. A black girl with a long flow of locks and a low top. His heart stopped as he saw Miles's hands go up her thighs and rub right beneath her skirt. He wanted to rip Miles's hands away from her body. He swallowed the bitter taste of hurt and anger and walked to the two of them.

It took a while for Miles to recognize that here was a third person standing there. Once he did,  Tristan could see the glassy look in his eyes. 

"Tristan!  You made it!  I thought you would never show up. Tristan this is Kiara. She and I just met tonight and are best friends."

Tristan ignored him and grabbed his arm and pulled him off of the seat. 

"Hey!  What are you doing?, " Miles exclaimed angrily.

"I'm taking you home. Miles you're not yourself. You shouldn't be here."

"I'm exactly myself, Tris. I'm having fun! "

Tristan pulled him further away."Please, Miles, don't. Don't do this again. Don't do this to me," he begged.

It almost seemed like Miles had sobered. He didn't fight back like he had done just a few seconds before. It was almost as If he had fine limp. He didn't say anything as Tristan ushered him out the bar and into Tristan's car. 

They sat in silence. Tristan's heart beating sporadically in his chest,  while Miles remained silent curled away from him. 

"What is going on with you? " Tristan turned to Miles. "Why are you doing this?," he asked.

Miles remained as he was, silent. Tristan sighed, started the car,  and headed back to Tristan's home.  Once they arrived,  he got Miles to slowly walk up the stairs to Tristan's bed. Before tucking him in,  he made Miles drink a glass of water. 

He sent a text to Frankie and Hunter giving them a heads up that Miles was staying over at his house. He left out details about the, getting high part. He watched as Miles's shoulders moved up and down, evenly. 

Tristan turned away and grabbed a blanket from his closet and made his way down to his living room where he stretched himself down on the futon. He draped the blanket around him and closed his eyes to sleep. 

 

 


	7. Demons

Miles woke up with a massive headache and the urgent need to release his bladder. He pulled apart the covers and got up from the bed. It wasn't until he got to the door that he realized that,  this was not his room. 

He did turned around and recognized the dimly lit, red painted room,  with posters and pictures on the wall. Tristan. He groaned. Things were slowly starting to piece themselves together from last night. He had been so mad at his mother for going back to his beligerant father,  that he ran back to the one thing that he vowed to never turn to again. 

The high had been the perfect catalyst to forget his fucked up family life,  the perfect getaway. Miles had felt on top of the world and free,  numb from the feeling of all the emotions he had. The night before was a blurry cloud of ascendance, that he needed,  that he craved. 

Miles walked down the stairs and entered Tristan's open kitchen. He quietly made two cups of coffee and leaned on the counter as the sound of the coffee machine filled the quiet space. Once they were done,  he grabbed the two mugs and into the living room, where he had caught a glimpse of sleeping mass on the futon. 

He sat one mug on the small glass table and lowered himself on the couch across from where Tristan was quietly sleeping. Tristan's hair was tounseled and in his face,  his shirt bunched up at his stomach. The morning sun was filtering through the glass window,  casting the room in a ethereal glow,  especially on Tristan's pale face. 

Miles took a sip of his coffee,  blowing the top. His mind was running in circles trying to remember what exactly happened the night before,  and how and where Tristan found him. His thoughts were interrupted when a drowsy voice called to him. 

"Miles? " 

Miles looked up to see Tristan sitting up, rubbing his eyes from sleep. He set his mug down and walked over with the other mug and handed it to Tristan. 

Eyes still trying to wake up, Tristan accepted the coffee with a small mumble of 'thanks'. 

He walked back to where he was sitting. He watched Tristan take a drink of his coffee with a satisfactory moan. 

"It good?" he asked. 

Tristan's eyes opened, landing on him. He nodded. The tension stretched between them as Tristan continued to drink his coffee,  refusing to speak first. Miles sighed. 

"Tris..."

The sound of a mug hitting the top of the glass table,  pierced through the room. 

"What the hell were you thinking?" Tristan asked. 

"I-you could have been hurt or-I don't know. You drove all the way to the city to get high,  Miles. I jus-I don't understand. What happened?  I though you were okay,  that you were passed this,  that we were passed this? "

Miles heart squeezed,  but he ignored it. He didn't tell Tristan of the feelings he has been having,  the thoughts of hate and depression. The panic attacks and anxiety that were slowly trampling his mind. He wanted to,  he did,  but he didn't think that, Tristan would understand.

"Are you not going to say anything?"

Miles looked up. 

"I'm sorry."

He heard Tristan sigh. 

"Miles. I-okay. I know you're sorry, I just want to know why?  If something's bothering you,  why won't you tell me?"

"It's not that simple, Tris."

"I know. Mile-I just. I-I love you. I don't want to see you go through this again. I want to be there for you when you're feeling helpless. Let me be there for you." 

Tristan came and sat next to him on the couch. His hands covered Miles's with openness and care. Miles looked at their hands together, sadly. 

"My parents are getting back together," Miles said. He slowly pulled his hand away and reached for his coffee.

"What? Why?  That's-I can't believe your mo-"

"You know they've been going to counseling for a while now. I just thought it was something just to release their anger, not their undying love for each other. My mom announced it at the 'family dinner'. He's moving back in next week."

"Just in time for the holidays," he continued bitterly. 

Miles downed the last contents of his coffee and got up and walked to the kitchen to wash it in the sink. His hands angrily scrubbed at the mug, cleaning over the same spot over and over again. It felt like an itch he couldn't get rid of. His father was a stain,  bleeding though the carpet.

He felt a hand on his back,rubbing small circles up and down his spine. He could feel himself melting into the touch. He rinsed the cup and set it on the counter to dry. 

Miles turned around. 

"Whatever I did or said, last night. It didn't-Tris, you know I didn't mean any of it,  right? "

Bright blue eyes stared into his own Hazel eyes. He could see the worry in the other boy's face. 

Tristan quietly replied. "I know, Miles. It-I just." He turned his face away. "Sometimes, I feel like you do mean those words. Just because I haven't said anything until now,  doesn't mean I haven't noticed."

Miles figured. Tristan had always been perceptive, he always knew when Miles was having a bad day. 

"You've been spacing out and distancing yourself for weeks. I just didn't say anything because,  I didn't want to push you."

"Tris-"

"You stopped saying you loved me," Tristan blurted. He was now facing Miles. 

Miles gripped the counter behind him. 

"I-I thought the reason you were pushing me away,  was because you didn't feel the same way for me anymore."

"That's not going to happen, Tristan. "

He took a step toward the raven headed boy,letting his hands slide down his shoulders down to his waist. 

"I love you."

Miles leaned down and kissed red bitten lips. 

"I can't and won't, ever get tired of you, Tris". 

His tongue licked softly around Tristan's own, teeth catching slightly at Tristan's bottom lip,  eliciting a small moan. 

"Come here."

Tristan closed the small space between then and wrapped his arms around Miles's neck. Miles lifted the other boy up and set him on the counter. 

In between kisses, Miles said, "You brought me home after I went off the rails,  even though I probably didn't deserve it. How could I not love you?, " He whispered against flush lips. 

Tristan's eyes rolled back as Miles bit into his neck,  lapping over it lightly, with his tongue. Tristan's grip on Miles's shirt tightened. 

"I-Miles. "

"I know."

Miles moved away from the counter,  allowing Tristan to step down. Their lips found each other again,  kissing frantically as they made their way back to living room. Tristan fell back on the futon with a small huff, Miles above me. 

"I'm sorry about your dad,  Mil-"

Miles cut him off with another kiss. "I don't want to talk about my dad."

Tristan answered with a broken, "okay."

The sounds of their heavy breathing and moans filled the quiet house. After a couple of frantic minutes, Miles found himself naked above a smooth, pale, dark haired boy. 

"I want you,  Tris."

Miles hands found their way down Tristan's chest,  down to his dick. He squeezed. 

"Y-you have me. You've always had me." Tristan's hips lifted as Miles began to move and up and down,  slowly. 

Miles watched as Tristan's cheeks reddened in exertion, a small sprinkled blush. He ducked down and put his mouth on Tristan. He heard a gasp. 

"Miles... "

Miles moved up and down on Tristan's dick, curing Tristan to squirm beneath him. His hands worked on his own, pulling it into hardness. 

"Fuck. Miles. I need you now."

He pulled Tristan up and they both hurry found themselves in Tristan's room,  rushing eachothed to the bed. Tristan searched around for a condom. He found one and handed it to Miles,  as he pushed his way up the bed. 

Miles ripped the packet and rolled it around himself. This was the first time,  he and Tristan had gotten this far. They usually would make out and exchange blow jobs,  but then it would stop there. 

He watched Tristan prepare himself with his fingers, eyes never leaving him. It was the hottest thing he had ever seen. Miles could see the growing blush on Tristan's cheeks spread to his neck. He watched Tristan out it in one more fingers, his hips rolling slightly. If it were even possibly,  his dick got harder. 

"I'm ready," Tristan said, huskily.

Miles nodded. His sudden lust was turning into nerves. Sure,  he has had sex before. But this, was the first time it was someone he cared about. As if Tristan read his mind,  he felt a warm hand on his arm.

"It's okay. I want this. I want you."

He scooted himself closed to Tristan's long open legs, making his way between them. He aligned himself and looked up at Tristan.

He pushed in slightly watching Tristan's face carefully. Miles leaned down and captured Tristan's lips between his. That's when he pushed all the way in. 

Tristan gasped. 

Miles pulled back slightly. "You okay?"

"Yeah,  I-I'm good. Wow. I just. I didn't think it would feel like this. I-ugh,  didn't know how good you would feel, " Tristan replied in scattered breathes. 

Miles kissed him again, pulling out and then,  back again. Tristan's hands tightened on his arms, his legs wrapped around Miles's waist. 

"You needed to move,  like yesterday."

"Who knew you were a bossy bottom." Miles bit down on soft exposed neck. 

"Who knew you were an reluctant top," Tristan bit back,  with a another moan, as Miles slowly pushed into him. 

"This is your first time, Tris. I'm not going to go,  full porn style on you."

But,  Miles began to bottom out more quickly. He could feel Tristan's legs tighten around him. Tristan felt so good, everything felt so good. This was better than any high he could give himself. 

Tristan was now moaning louder as Miles fucked into him,  in a more elicit pace. The bed squeaked beneath them. 

"Fuck. Ye-yes, Miles,  yes." Tristan's head was thrown back as he moaned. 

Miles could feel every part of him shiver. His eyes couldn't leave Tristan's face,  as he fucked him. No,  made love to him. 

Tristan reached down and began to pump himself. He was close. Miles sped up,  trying to help Tristan to orgasm. After a few seconds,  Tristan froze and let out a quiet grunt and released himself on his chest.

Miles was not far behind. He could feel the tingling sensation all the way to his toes,  making the curl. He pulled out and pulled the condom off, before he pumped himself a few times,  before he came.

Heavy breathes filled the sunlit bedroom,  before Miles rolled next Tristan. Tristan leaned over and kissed him. 

"Holy shit. We just had sex. "

Miles laughed. 

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what we just did."

Tristan got up and walked to the connected bathroom in his room.  He came back with a wash cloth. He dried himself and Miles's chest from the mess they made, before lying down next to Miles. 

"I love you."

Miles looked at Tristan.Miles was the only one who got to see Tristan like this, all flushed and bright eyed, his hair in messy locks. He smiled.

If this was what little glimpse of happiness, Miles could get, then he would take and tuck it away. He couldn't let his demons,  overshadow this. He had to hide them.  

"I love you too,Tris."

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this might be the last chapter for awhile. I'm going back to school in a couple of days and my second semester of college is packet with ultra difficult classes, that I think it will be very difficult for my to update, because school comes first. 
> 
> I hope you guys liked the chapter and I hope you tell your friends and fellow Triles shippers to read this fic! Comments are always welcome. 
> 
> xx


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